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10 Things to Avoid When Getting a Divorce

If it’s one thing Scottsdale divorce attorneys know, it’s that divorces can be complex, messy, and tricky affairs. They’re made even trickier by the fact that it’s a bad time for everyone involved. Emotions are usually at an all-time high when you consider everything at stake. That can often to lead to people making horrible mistakes while going through the process.

 These potential mistakes can cost you more than you know. Personal fortunes, the fate your children, and even your family home will be caught up in these proceedings. Making the wrong moves can destroy your chances of coming out on top of your messy divorce. Here’s my list of the top ten things to avoid when getting a divorce.


1) Not Changing Your Will

 Your will doesn’t change until you actually change it. Getting a divorce won’t suddenly disinherit your spouse. This is a common mistake many people make. Then, when someone dies, their ex is still legally obligated to the money and privileges outlined in the will. So, add this to the list of things you need to do after the divorce goes through.


2) Avoid Getting Pregnant

We understand that mistakes happen. If you’re going through a divorce, this might be one mistake you can’t afford to make. Becoming pregnant during your divorce can severely complicate matters. It can even stop you from being able to get it done. That same scenario played out for one Spokane County, Washington woman.

Shawnna Hughes was ready to get away from her abusive husband. She was denied the right to divorce her husband by the judge. The reason? She was pregnant. While the woman insisted the baby was not fathered by her husband, Washington state law has no choice but to assume otherwise. That ultimately allowed the judge to stop the divorce from happening.

 The judge also shared the concern that there was no other father. Someone had to be financially responsibility for the child and that had to be her current husband. Don’t cause yourself anymore grief by making this mistake.


3) Don’t Overlook a Collaborative Divorce

 Rather than wasting the time fighting with your soon-to-be former spouse, have the professionals do it! A collaborative divorce can help the process go smoother. It gives you a chance to relax and ease any emotional stress you might be feeling. Divorce coaches, therapists, and attorneys all join together to make the process as smooth as possible.

 There are critics to this process. They say it’s too costly to hire so many “experts” who aren’t really experts at all. Yet, those who went down this path found the divorce process much smoother and more cooperative between both parties. That can make a drastic difference in your peace of mind.


4) Don’t Have Sex with Your Lawyer

 This might seem like a common sense thing. In reality, a divorce involves emotionally vulnerable people are going through a split. They may be a little too excited to seek revenge on their partner while signaling their newfound freedom. A lawyer is also someone on their side during a rough situation. While it might feel like a good thing at the time, it can actually mess up your case, compromising attorney-client privilege.


5) Skipping the Therapist

 You might think you’re okay during your divorce process. In reality, you’re probably not. Even if you were the one who asked for the divorce. There’s a wide range of thoughts and emotions coursing through your body. You will later regret suppressing those emotions or pretending to be okay. It often leads to major doubts of depression and anger.


6) Waiting

 One major mistake couples make is waiting to get it done. Maybe the holidays are coming or your child’s birthday is coming up. You might think you’re doing everyone a favor by waiting until after the event. In reality, it leads to more bickering and fighting during those special moments, ruining it for everyone else. It’s best to get it done quickly so you can move on with your life.


7) Forgetting that Less is More

 Yes, you probably want the house and the car. Think about the responsibility you are now adding to your shoulders with one less person helping out on the bills. There’s the mortgage, upkeep, and taxes now that belong to you. Being freshly minted as a single person changes your tax bracket as well. There are a lot of extra factors to take into consideration.


8) Taking It Out on the Kids

 No matter how rough the divorce is on you, it’s even worse for the kids. They’re at an extremely vulnerable phase in their development. In order to get through it, kids need a supportive and loving environment. This is why a collaborative divorce is sometimes necessary. It allows you to focus on the important things, your kids, without the added stress.


9) Increasing Your Debt

 One of the worst things about a divorce is how expensive it is. Lawyer fees, taxes, and setting up a whole new household. And because you’re single, you can’t rely on your partner’s income any longer. That means a downsize is in order. You’ll have to get used to having less and living within your means.


10) Settling Early

 Some people just want to get out of the marriage as quickly as possible. To make this happen, they settle the case, which can do them a lot of harm. You would be ultimately forfeiting additional income and help while you transition into a new life. There may be other debts you’re attached to. You could lose out on valuable property and rights.

 The best thing for you to do is to create an environment of full cooperation and approaching the situation with a level head. By making better decisions, you will improve your situation dramatically. For more tips, strategies, and/or to consult with an attorney, go to today.


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