Divorce is one of the most upsetting and hurtful events in someone’s life. It often gets messy and involves a lot of bad emotions. Whatever you might be facing, you can expect that your children are struggling with it even more. Kids are innocent and do not understand grown up emotions. Having a family lawyer on your side is important, so check out https://tiffanyfinalaw.com to learn more about how to work through a divorce.
Their reaction will most likely depend on their age, their maturity, and the individual circumstances surrounding the situation. It’s never going to be easy and it’s one more thing for you to worry about. Not addressing the situation with your kids is the worst thing you can do. It might make them feel alone or that they have no one to rely on. The parents can seem as if they’re focusing only on themselves.
Yet, this may be one of the first trials that your kids face. You can use the situation to teach them about overcoming adversity. They can learn how to cope with this type of stress, it may help them as they become adults. How you handle your divorce can impact your child’s future, both negatively and/or positively. What might be best to not involve them in any way.
This is often difficult for parents at this stage. One big reason is that there might be a custody battle at the heart of the divorce. Both parents may want full custody of the children. How you navigate that swamp will be how your children are dragged through it. In these types of cases, it’s common for parents to trash each other to paint a negative picture in hopes that the kid might want to stay with them.
Easing the Tension
In this situation, the best thing to do is to come to at least one agreement when it comes to involving the kids. Decide that you’re not going to drag them into this. You both can decide that you will hash out the battle in court and not involve them or drag them into the swamp with you. That also impacts how they see both of you interacting with each other.
Don’t fight in front of each other, don’t call each other names, and don’t have heated discussions while they’re present. Keep all legal talk away from them. Keep any disruptions of their normal everyday life as far away as possible. Both parents need to remain completely involved in their child’s life no matter how difficult that might be. Unless abuse was involved, both parents can be adults work towards having an amicable split for the children’s sake.
How to Break the News
As soon as the couple decides it’s time for them to go their separate ways, the need to sit down and create a plan of action for telling the kids. This is not going to be an easy thing to do. There’s going to be a lot of negative feelings and emotions. Your kids may blame themselves. They might throw anger and blame that one or both of the parents. That means your discussion with them should come with a plan to help divert the anger.
That might mean both parents working as a team. Rather than blaming each other and trying to get the children to side with one parent or the other, both parents sit down and offer solutions. The parents should not get angry either. Between them, they may have blame and anger, but that should be hashed out away from the kids. When you hire a divorce lawyer, you can prepare your case then.
Still, it’s also super important to make sure that the children do not blame themselves for what happened. The divorce was not their fault, so you might have to do extra convincing to assure them that it wasn’t. Again, you must remember that children cannot understand these grown-up feelings. They are immature and have a lot of growing up to do. Even teenagers still have a lot of emotional development ahead of them in this type of stress might be extra hard on them.
Give Them Reassurance and Information About What’s Coming
It will lessen the blow if both parents have a plan of action. There still might be a lot of working out to do, such as deciding who gets custody. That battle will take place in the courtroom, but that can cause a lot of problems right now. The children in particular have no idea how their life is going to change as a result of this decision. Are they going to have to move? Is one parent moving further away? Suddenly one of their parents won’t be in their lives every single day.
Usually judges will decide in favor of whatever plan allows the kids to keep their normal routine. There may be a lot of questions what you must be prepared to answer. They don’t need to know why you’re getting divorced, but you should do your best to prepare them for possible changes. The way you lay out the situation might make it seem like it’s not so bad, which can be helpful during this time.
Older kids will know a lot more than younger kids. They grasp the concept of relationships a lot better and might’ve even started dating. They know that sometimes relationships and even if they never expected that to happen to their own parents. Still, a lot of them have friends whose parents have divorced, so they understand the concept of what’s going on better.
Handling Your Child’s Reaction
You can pretty much guarantee that your child is going to be upset at the news. They might get angry at you, they might throw a tantrum and cry, or they might have a hard time reacting at all. They may try to hide their feelings and not react right away. Regardless of their reaction, you should continue to reassure them and let them know that everything is going to be okay. You may not live in the same house anymore, but you still love them and they’ll still be safe.
If you’re unsure of how to handle this situation, don’t hesitate to check out https://tiffanyfinalaw.com/ for more information on handling a divorce.
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