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Why Do So Few Men Get Alimony?

If you’re a man involved in a divorce, you might feel as if the deck is already stacked against you. According to U.S. Census figures, only 3% of the 400,000 people who receive spousal support after a divorce are men. That’s a shockingly low number of men who are getting support, and instead, are paying for it. This is yet another reason why you need to contact a family law attorney Scottsdale AZ if you’re going through a divorce.

You might be thinking that it’s only fair because the guys are the ones who bring home the bacon. But the numbers are even more staggering when you consider that in 40% of those households, the women are the breadwinners. That means hundreds of thousands of men should be receiving alimony to help support themselves, but instead, they are paying to support their ex-wives who make more money than they do.

Why is this happening? Well, gender stereotypes and roles play a major part. “Gender equality is a relatively new concept in the span of history, and old stereotypes die hard,” says San Francisco Bay area divorce attorney Mark Ressa. “A successful man is considered a breadwinning man, and asking for alimony is considered emasculating.”

Macho Pride is Hurting Divorced Men 

Keith Craig is a former schoolteacher who took the role of caregiver for his two children. As a stay-at-home father, his ex-wife made a great salary of more than $100,000 per year, allowing him to quit his job. After the divorce, Craig was left with no job and no spousal support. At 53-years-old, it’s kind of tough to make inroads back towards a new career. Instead, he slummed it out, taking an allowance from his parents, freelance gigs, and eating Ramen. He says he’s never asked his ex-wife for money, mainly because of his generational attitude.

“I’d love to have that money, but I’d never hit a girl and I’d never beg from a girl — and I see palimony as begging,” says Craig. “If the roles were reversed and I was ordered to pay her alimony, I would just as soon jump off a cliff or dump $50,000 into legal proceedings to fight it.” A lot of it isn’t just male gender stereotypes, but also the sexism of judges.

Sexist Judges

Ressa Rosen is a divorce lawyer out of North Carolina. She says, “Men are essentially shamed into not receiving alimony.” The prevailing attitude by exes, judges, and even lawyers is that men should just get a job. But this goes against all the fighting toward women’s equality. While more women are becoming the breadwinners, it’s forcing more men to become stay-at-home parents. All things being equal, more women should be forced into paying spousal support after a divorce.

If you’re a male who is in the middle of a divorce, you shouldn’t take sexism lightly, nor should you let pride get in the way. You should contact a divorce attorney who fights for men’s rights by going to

Tiffany Fina Law Firm
7411 E 6th Suite 103
Scottsdale, AZ 85251

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